jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
