just come out here and I will go home with you...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
