Having a random hookup so left but love u
Your mouth is God's brothel.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
