Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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