"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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