Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize