I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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