On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize