Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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