you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
