You really coming over, don't trick.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
