She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
