I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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