saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
