and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
