Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize