The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Randomize
