You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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