Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hell yes lets make some ravioli
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
