I hate all girls vehemently.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
