Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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