One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sext me about skeletons
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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