We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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