K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
