I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You're like the curious george of whores
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
