what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize