that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
