I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
what day is it and did you see me today?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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