i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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