girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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