Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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