so explain again why im purple
no
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
