My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
