he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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