After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
