just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
