I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
