So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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