we made out on top of his cat.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
