I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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