You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
