If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize