dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
