I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
