His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
