how can u be prego again
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
