STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
