i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
