My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
