Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
