yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
