Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
