I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
