we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
