you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
