Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize