Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
