she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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