She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
