I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
