While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize