Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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