Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize