Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
